


Goner

by dragonism



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Panic Attacks, Pararibulitis (Dirk Gently), Pararibulitis attack, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 21:45:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12713532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonism/pseuds/dragonism
Summary: Todd has his worst pararibulitis attack to date, overcome suddenly with the same feelings his sister felt trapped in the bathroom- and then some.





	Goner

**Author's Note:**

> Pre-warning: This originated as more of a vent via a character than a fic. Hence the short length, but also mildly dark themes.

Todd felt weak. He was being beaten to the ground, out his right mind. Slipping away into the world around him as Dirk became a ghost within the mist that covered his sight.

His eyes were glazed with tears, his throat burned as he screamed; and screamed; and couldn’t stop screaming despite the distinct lack of sound escaping his lips.

His lungs were on fire. His heart beating out of his chest. He was drowning on dry land and the only other thing he could feel was the hands on his back stopping him from hitting the ground as he kicked out, falling.

This was his worst pararibulitis attack yet.

It wasn’t stopping, he couldn’t make it stop. It felt like his entire body was underwater and the pressure was building as he sank deeper; and deeper. Maybe it wasn’t just pararibulitis this time. It didn’t feel right. It felt worse. He couldn’t take any time to ponder that thought as he coughed; his hands grasping; his entire body heavy and yet weightless at the same time.

He managed to grip somebody’s shirt. He managed to find a hold on something and he refused to let go. Voices around him were distorted and all he could see was the darkness of his own thoughts overwhelming him as he slipped further and further away from reality.

Todd couldn’t breath, couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything to stop the terror that continued to threaten him.

He felt somebody try to force a pill into his system, but on account of the gasping action he continued to contract, he couldn’t swallow it. He would have to sit this one out alone. Waiting.

It was a strange sensation; drowning.

His body was floating like a feather through a thick winter fog and yet his lungs stung like they had been struck alight with a match. He was cold; everything was cold. And yet the burning in his throat was hot enough that he thought smoke might erupt from his mouth any second.

He felt like he was falling and yet he was perfectly still. Felt like he needed to flail and yet couldn’t bring himself to do it. He felt like he was dying.

It was a pitiful thing; dying.

As though all his problems were disappearing whilst every one of then crashed into him like bullets. His thoughts were of emptiness and yet he had so much on his mind it was hard to think at all.

And then all at once. Everything stopped.

Except he wasn’t dying. Or dead.

He was very much alive. He was shaking. He was being pulled close against Dirk’s chest and pulling himself even closer. He was sobbing, and arms were tightening around him. His once burning lungs breathed in gasps of ice cold air and his once freezing body became enveloped in warmth.

He felt Dirk’s lips press against his hair.

He closed his eyes against the fear that they weren’t really there. 


End file.
